00:00
If you're old enough to remember when phones had cords and the only thing that went viral was a cold, then you're in the right place. Welcome to the Big Six-O with Kaylee Harris and Guy Rawlison. Because who better to discuss life's second act than two people who still think mature is a type of cheese?

00:37
Welcome to The Big Six, I'm Guy Rowlison and joining me besides my sporting injuries and arthritis  is as always the very fabulous Kayleigh Harris.  Very fabulous, oh thank you, I like that.  How are doing?  I'm okay, I'm okay except like say for the arthritis and sporting Yeah, yeah all the old people things. Which brings us to this week's episode right? That's right, we're diving into the good, the bad and the ugly.

01:05
getting older. So whether it's half price movies or grandkids you can hand back. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're all pluses and minuses as you get just probably after the age of, would it be 50, 55, 60? 60? Well, when I hit 60, I got the $2.50 Opal card anywhere you can go for $2.50 a day. I'm loving that. I'm loving that action. And I'm parking in the seniors parking at Westfield now. And I'm just wondering,

01:35
What's the age limit for that? you supposed to be 65 or 60? What's considered a senior? I don't know. I see it all the time. I thought it was a Spanish thing. I thought it was a senior's parking. So I thought, I'm not Spanish. I'm allowed to park there, am I? But I thought I'd get the double whammy. I thought, surely there's a senior's parking and the parents with prams sort of thing. So I thought, if I'm like the grandkids, could bet. perfect. Yeah, you'd think so.

02:01
I don't know what the age limit is. don't know whether it's 60, 65, whether you need a special pass.  I haven't tried it yet. I think it's,  this is going to sound, gosh, I hope this doesn't sound too vain, but I park in the seniors parking and I'm waiting for someone to say to me, excuse me, this is for older people. And no one has said that.  clearly. Wouldn't that be something that you're proud of? they're saying, oh, look, you're not old enough. Well, I am. But it brings me to the point that  I saw a  survey on

02:30
questioning people our age about being older. Most of us, we look at older people who, or people the same age as us, and we go, gee, I don't look as old as them. And we naturally age ourselves down by about 10 years. So for you and I who are, you know, 61, we think that we look closer to 51. Is that wrong? Yeah, apparently there's a survey. You age yourself down, you don't see yourself as your peers.

02:59
as you see your peers of the same age. I still get out of the gym and I do, I do that. look at people and think, oh, you're an old bloke, you know. I mean, I'm sure people look at me think, oh, yeah, you know, he's old, but he's not nearly as old as that fella on the peck machine next to him. But yeah, I didn't know that was a thing. What is old? mean, how do you define old? Because obviously it's relevant to your age. If you're five years old, someone who's 10 or 12 is old. Yeah.

03:29
we were talking earlier,  when you look at your teachers at school and they might have been in their late 30s or early  40s  and you think, you know, when you're 10 or 12 or whatever, think they're, they're, they're, they were so old,  so old. And then you run into them  later in life and they're probably, you know, 10 years or 15 years older than you and thought, oh, wow, you weren't that old really at all.  Which brings us to,  I guess, defining,  we're baby boomers and I guess,

03:59
Defining that week like we're going to age differently than our grandparents did for sure because if you think about it, right You were just talking about going to the gym Did your grand-grandmother or grandfather ever go to the gym? Well, they even invented not the grandfather but with with gyms I mean  unless it was exercise did they exercise because mine didn't I mean your parents invariably were if you were playing sport You know,  they might have been the coach of the

04:27
They weren't going out on a Saturday or Sunday playing footy or whatever. No, like my  dad was a runner,  but my mum  never exercised and my grandparents  certainly never exercised. Yeah. But that's where we're different. That's something,  well, I've got grandkids and that's something that they will probably grow up seeing  me playing a little bit of sport and that will be the norm.  But is it?

04:56
You know, I feel fortunate that I can still play sport at a level. But you're right. I don't ever remember my father actually playing any sport.  He used to play ice hockey when he was a young man.  But  certainly not grandparents. No, it's  time to change. I think maybe as  we're living longer, we want to enjoy those extra years that we have as an ageing population. So I think we're a lot more active.

05:24
than perhaps our parents or grandparents. But if you go back and think about  your grandparents, retirement wasn't even a thing when they were at that age. Like in the  50s, retirement wasn't a thing. You just got old and you lived in your house and then you died. And the whole idea of retiring to some  resort style location where you'd be taken care of and you've got your superannuation and it's actually a destination.

05:51
to go to, it's  like a holiday, it's fantastic. know, when you see all the ads now for retirement places, they've got gyms and they've got theatres, they've got all this kind of stuff. That didn't exist for our grandparents. And the other thing that  disturbs me a little is when you talk about those lifestyle villages, it's not a retirement home or whatever anymore. certainly not a nursing home. No, and when in my mind, you know,  those places were always for old people.

06:21
You know, you just do once upon a time it was over 65 and then over 60 and then over 55 I sort of had the other day for over 50s lifestyle living over 50. Thank you very much Yeah, when did you all of us some become decrepit? I would like to go to some of those places and say do you actually have any people here who are 50? That's right I was speaking to someone probably about 12 months ago and just as a little bit of a lark They went along with their partner to have a look at one of these new over 55 slides

06:50
They had a bowling alley for goodness sake at this particular place, a cinema and all those sort of things, but a bowling alley? It's a destination, isn't it? It's somewhere where you aspire to go to.  The idea of growing old in your own home  isn't  really, you know, pushed anymore. That's right. These days. the other thing I noticed too, when I look at ads targeting older people and I guess lifestyle places or older people's products,

07:19
They've got this stereotype older couple, inevitably always a man and a woman, never a man and a man or a woman, always a man and a woman. They're usually behind a great big wheel of a yacht going full on into the wind, their hair's blowing back and they've got big smiles and perfect teeth. That's, I guess, how we see ourselves aging, but is that reality?  Is that what aging looks like? Because I don't know many people in their seventies who look like that. Well, not that have all of it. They don't have the hair.

07:49
the teeth, the yacht. Yeah, and the yacht. Well, and the yacht. mean, mine's in repair at the moment. Of course. So,  you know. Yeah, so are my teeth, actually. But you're right. It is always that stereotypical,  you know, couple. And you're right. It's always a man and a woman.  Not really. And usually Anglo-Celtic.  Yes, absolutely. So  whether that's the market that...

08:17
you know, they're targeting, I don't know. mean, every culture is different,  particularly, you know, if it's, it may be, you know,  your Asian community that have a rich tradition of  families actually, you know,  bonding together. Looking after them. That's right. And whether  your Aussie sort of, you know, as perceived as,  well, we'll just put them into a lifestyle village or home or something like that. And that's how it works. I think that's true. And I think that's where some cultures have got it all over us, the way they

08:46
they take care of their older generations compared to the way  Anglo-Saxon people do, I guess. But  the other thing I heard the other day was an interesting fact that we may be the last generation, you and I, that will leave money to our children. Is that right? Because after that, kid's going to no, just look, you've been for yourself, Yeah, it's one of those- Don't rely on an inheritance. It's one of those things. And I guess this is one of the good bits as part of the good, the bad, and the ugly of getting older.

09:16
is are we finally starting to see the  superannuation sort of make sense? mean,  after years of not knowing what the heck it was and  just seeing it going into some mystery sort of pot,  it's finally paying off, I guess, at an age where we either bank it or we go on overseas. And enjoy it. But I think for those people who are lucky enough to have it, I think it's a great idea for people who don't or don't have a lot of superannuation because they've had to

09:46
know, give up work or look after kids or whatever, particularly women are, I think, a lot worse off with super. But I think now we're starting to see the benefits of compulsory super. Yeah. And we can all enjoy that Women's Weekly World Discovery Tour that we heard about in the seventies. I don't know whether there's still happening. it is also it's it's a time for travel for a lot of us too, as we start to. I mean, the Grey Nomads with her.

10:15
going around for a long time, the highways and byways,  whether it's Victoria, Queensland, or just around the continent.  They're things that our parents, our grandparents would never have had  either the money to do, or  they felt the responsibilities of actually staying at home, or  even because you've got those massive RVs, if that's what they're called these days, and  off you go for three months and  do your thing. So I'm sure that's a good thing, isn't it?

10:43
I think so too.  think a lot of  our kids' generation need us around to help with the grandkids because of cost of living and those sorts of things  and that can be a good thing  if you have access to parents who are able to help you with that.  But let me ask you this, what is  in your mind the most rewarding thing about getting older?  Oh, I would say apart from  your gold Opal card  and your seniors discounts for the bistros on Wednesday at your local RSL,

11:13
Yes.  Tuesday,  There's  not a lot of FOMO going on in my life these days.  If the concept is, Friday night, I really don't need to go out and see a band  or I've got some, I'm just as happy to stay at home with a cuppa sometimes rather than going to some crowded bar in the city. That's nice every now and again.  So long as you don't fall over the steps because you can't quite manage that top one.

11:42
But yeah, I don't have a lot more foam. I think grandkids are a big thing. I'm fortunate enough to have grandkids,  fortunate enough to be able to hand them back to  you.  But that's also  something that, you know, as a parent,  for those that have had kids, you always have that,  if I'd only spent more time with my kids,  that whole Harry Chapin  sort of  cats in the cradle thing.

12:09
And that's one of the delights of being a grandparent because you can spoil them. You can do those little things that  your kids sort of looked at you and say, is this the same person that brought me up because  they're letting them have chocolate at eight o'clock at night and doing all those things. So there's a whole lot of good about getting older. But what about Kayleigh? does, what does,  I guess, I guess not caring so much what people think, you know, at 20 you worry about what everyone thinks of you.

12:34
And at 40, I guess you're raising your kids. Am I being good parent? You're still kind of worried about what people think of you. By the time you get to 60, you're like, I don't give a crap anymore what people think of me. It's, take me as I am. This is who I am and if you don't like it, I just find I don't need approval from people so much to find happiness within. I think that's very rewarding. But what about, what is most challenging for you, physical or otherwise, with

13:03
getting older?  I  have to just, my limitations, you know how it is.  In our minds, we're still 17. In our minds, I read something the other day that the majority of hospital intakes come from men 50 and over who still believe they can do the same things they were doing.  So they'd get on a skateboard to show their grandson something or

13:32
You know, I think I'm just going to go back to playing sport  and  in so that  it was only the other day I read that that that was the greatest intake  into casualty into hospitals in New South Wales  in the last  two, three years or whatever it is. probably more common with men, I think I would  without  hazard say that that's correct. But yeah, I think knowing your limitations  and getting outside your own head to remind yourself that.

14:00
I know that I can do that, but I really shouldn't try it because either I'll disappoint myself  or I'll be  in casualty later this evening. Or knowing that you can't do that.  Yeah. having grandkids is another thing, particularly when they say, hey, let's get on the trampoline and do this and that and something else. Do you do that?  Yes, I have.  Not so much after that first step.  I think I'll jump on my knees and back and look at this and can someone please get me off this now?

14:28
So yeah, yeah, so it's limitations more than anything, I think.  But a realization that's it's the realization too, because you want to try it and it just doesn't quite bend or stretch.  usually snaps. Yeah, well, yes. And I think for me, I think it's mortality facing your own mortality. Yeah. Is that  just realizing, you know, if you've I've lost both my parents now and that we're the next generation  and you know,

14:58
that's facing that mortality and that, my gosh, I'm 61,  it's,  I might live another 20 years, but what's that 20 years gonna look like? What if I don't have my health for the next 20 years? What if it slowly goes downhill?  We say goodbye, well we've said goodbye to everything from the corner store to our families, haven't we? As far as  parents and those sort of things. And you're right, and it sneaks up on you.  At 60, I'm 62 this year, later this year.

15:28
And I think to myself, oh, let's wind that clock back on. If I've got another 20 years, is that another 20 Christmases? I mean, we don't know what tomorrow's going to bring. you know, we like to sort of put a number on our innings, don't we? And we say, oh, it'd be great to live to 100 or 80 or whatever it is. But then you wind the clock back those 20 years and say, oh, look, I remember what I was doing when I was 42. And you think, that's not that long ago. Yeah. So you're right. But it is. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

15:55
It's the way time seems to speed up. mean, it seems to go so slow when you're at school waiting for the next  school holidays.  But  now it just seems to be, what, another year's gone? Are you kidding me? It's Christmas again. It's that speeding up.  And someone explained it to me one day that  it's when you've got less of your life ahead of you than behind you, that's when time seems to feel like it's speeding up. Yeah. And I thought, yeah, that kind of makes sense.

16:23
And once again, I saw a graph the other day and it showed the ages, know, zero to five.  When people are asked and quizzed and surveys are done,  their impressions of their memories and the amount of life they lived happened more between the ages of zero to 17 than it did from 18 through to 65.  And that's probably because Christmas never comes when you're a five year old because it just takes forever. My birthday is never going to arrive or,  or, you  yet.

16:53
you know, every year you're pulling out the Christmas tree and you think, my gosh,  it's November already. Has that been 12 months? Where did that go?  Right? Yeah. Yeah. Did your life turn out the way you thought it would?  I'm glad it probably didn't.  Why? What did you, how did you think it would? Because, I don't know whether I really thought about how it was going to turn out. I mean, I think my big plan was always, I was going to represent my country in some sport when I was, you know, when I was 12 years old.

17:21
That was never gonna happen. I don't know whether I actually did have a plan.  I mean, I always wanted to have a family. I always wanted to have kids. I always wanted to have a little SUV. I think that's about as far as I ever.  Same time, didn't you?  Yeah, I shot for the stars.  I don't know. don't know whether I've actually, that's a great question. I don't think I ever gave too much thought about where I thought I was gonna be. I wanted to join the Air Force when I was in high school and then I found out how to...

17:48
blue-green colour deficiency, so all of a sudden that went out the window.  And I wanted to join the cops and for the same reason, you know, couldn't do that. And then, you know, I went into journalism. So  from an early point, I guess I had to reassess  and thought to myself, well, there's no point in making too many plans. Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow. But  I know your career sort of,  you wanted to go into, you know, flying the friendly skies and TAA and all that sort of thing and ANSET and...

18:15
And it took a different path as well. But I mean, we don't know, do we? As we get older. No, you don't. But I think, like, I think my life's turned out better than I thought it would.  I always wondered before I got married and had kids, I always wondered, am I ever going to get married? Am I ever going to have kids? Are my kids going to be good kids? Or are they going to be, you know, horrible kids? Are they going to end up in jail? And  I look at my life now and  I, you I've got these three beautiful humans.

18:41
and I've got my health and I've got amazing network of friends and family around me and I feel so incredibly blessed. And I think that's one of the other things about getting older is  that gratitude  and really appreciating smaller things or the little things in life.  I find myself driving down the street going, oh, look at that tree, it's so beautiful. And my mum used to do that. And I'd go, mum, it's a tree for goodness sake.  Watch the road woman.

19:10
But now I look and I go, that is a beautiful tree or that is a beautiful flower or isn't, you know, there's a beautiful moment or something like that.  You really see those things when you get older. Well, those who probably get bored to death by my little happy snaps on social media where I will just see something if I'm, you know, we live close to the beach these days. And just to take those snaps, I

19:35
honestly believe people will think, oh, that's a nice sunset or that's a nice sunrise or that's a nice...  It's because I get a little bit of joy out of that.  I probably mistakenly believe other people do as well.  But you probably didn't even notice that when you were younger.  Who noticed sunrises and sunsets? No. stuff like, the joy and the beauty that is the beach and waves coming in. Like now that stuff kind of really matters and it's important and it's taken to get to this age to  really appreciate it.

20:06
And one of the things I do like and you show it to me just about  every day is patience. People have a lot more patience  now that we're getting older. And any of those sort of,  when you're young, you you don't want to be Kayleigh's friend, you know, and that's okay. But these days, it doesn't matter whether, you know, Kayleigh is doing something. People appreciate it because  they're people that have been your friends or your network and they appreciate.

20:34
either the time you've taken to do it or that you have a passion for something  and they're willing to share  that with you,  whether they agree or not, but I mean it could be lip service.  I don't know, but I do like that. There's that sort of sense of community sometimes when you reach a certain age, those shared experiences that you've probably lived through as well. Yeah. What would you  now say to a young guy, a young 18 year old guy, Rolison?  I'd probably just say it'll be okay.

21:04
It'll be okay.  All those  moments as  moments of anxiety or not sure whether the decision you're making  are the right ones.  I would probably just say  it's all right.  Whatever you do, you'll either live through it  or it's  that whole, this moment too will pass. Yeah. It's like that classic, one of my favourite quotes from the best exotic Marigold hotel where she says, everything will work out in the end.

21:34
And if it hasn't, then it's not the end. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I that's pretty profound. It kind of goes with what you're saying. There are some bad things that come with just being a little bit older though. And I don't know about you. I mean, when you can't remember your Netflix password or, you know, you're looking at your remote and thinking, oh, hang on, I've just hit, how do I get back to watching something? Or, you know, that tech anxiety. mean, a lot of us are bad at it. Some of us are good at it, but that comes with

22:04
That comes with sort of the evolution of society and tech and all that sort of thing too. So. But I think we also, you're talking before about patience. You know, when I was younger, I wanted to know how to change the clock in my car at daylight saving time because, you know, I wanted to prove that I could do it. Now I just don't have the, it just makes me angry. And I find myself saying to the kids, fix that clock. You know, I can't even change the clock on the microwave. can't.

22:34
But I don't have the patience for technology. Whereas I have patience for other things in my life. I don't have patience for technology and I wonder why that is.  Yeah. Do you have patience for  people, you you get together now and you start comparing ailments?  Oh, I try not to do that.  I really try.  It does happen though, doesn't it? Where you'll be talking to some friends,  you know, and I remember

23:01
I used to laugh at my grandparents where it was a big day if you went to the doctor, the chemist and the bank. Like that was a big, that was a big day.  And we might go out to dinner with someone and all of a sudden, Oh, look, you know, I'm on,  you know, this for my cholesterol or I'm on this for my blood pressure. And all of a sudden you realise that you've become those people where you're comparing all the bits and pieces with your arthritis and you're, Oh, you know, I get up in the morning and that really hurts. Now you've become that person.

23:31
Yeah, and  as long as you don't talk about it to everybody, you're okay. It's when you start, you know, someone says to you, hey, how are you? Oh, well, the back and the hips and the, you know, you don't want to be that, I don't want to be that person that's explaining all my ailments to anyone who would care to listen. But you find sometimes you just start, you're gravitating towards it, particularly if you're getting out of the chair at your club. And that's another thing. When people start, apart from making the noise when you get out of the chair,  that noise,  you hear,

24:00
I've got some friends who say, oh look, there's an 80s cover band that's doing this or  whatever.  Now, the  80s were 45 years ago.  Now, if I was to relate that story back to my parents who would be saying, oh, let's go down to the local club because there's the Platters cover band or  I'd be saying, you're kidding Yeah, that's right. That's just what our kids are saying, right?  Our grandkids are nearly saying that. You know, saying, oh, you want to go and see XYZ. Really?

24:30
As much as I used to poo poo that idea from mum and dad who would say, let's go down because the searches are playing down at the local club. And I'm thinking, right, so if I want to go and see insert name band here, no, that was almost half a century ago. I don't think there even were cover bands when our parents were younger.  No, they were the originals  because like in the late 70s and early 80s, these bands were only like 20 years ago. We're going to back.

24:57
to see bands that are 45 years ago, it's even worse.  In fact, everything we see is practically a cover band, isn't  it? Well, yeah, unfortunately, although I did see, well, ACDC are coming out, aren't they, very shortly, hardly a cover band.  Yeah. Yeah. And I saw Poor Old Ozzy Osbourne the other day being... I saw that at a concert. Yeah. At a concert, yeah. The other thing that comes with age,  apart from  whether the weather is setting up for your arthritis  and barometric pressure is playing havoc with your joints,

25:27
How many shopping bags have you got in the boot of your car?  Oh, don't start me.  I  got hated on. went on  Facebook recently  and I got them all out of the car and I  lined them, piled them all up high on the kitchen bench and I took a photo and I posted it to Facebook and I said, I've got 63 shopping bags in the boot of the car.

25:50
I literally had 63 and people are hating them and going, oh, that's, you know, that's so bad for the environment. You shouldn't have so many. That's the whole point of, you know, recyclable shopping. But well, I got, I got slammed for it. But to answer your question, I still probably have maybe 20 to 30. Yeah, it's a, it's, that's a thing. I think that's a badge of honor. If you've got 63 or 20 or 30, that's a badge of honor. I'm going to give that hat to you. I don't know how, I think they breed in there. I don't know how I ended up.

26:18
couldn't have bought that many surely, or maybe I just did. no. They wandered in, they looked for a home, those sort of things. I know because the ones that you lost have found their way into the back of my car, by the way. There you go. And something else I do, and I know I'm, you know, that's what we do, it's a podcast. When you look at people on TV and you refer to them as that young bloke or, you know, are they, you know, and the young bloke's 48, you know, and I think, oh, and I think, hang on, hang on, all that news reading, think, oh yeah, and I think.

26:48
hang on, that's not right.  when  those professionals are younger than you, like your doctor or your accountant, or you get pulled over by the cops and every one of them is younger than you. Yep.  And your boss is younger than everyone is younger, you're then referred to as a mentor.  And  that's,  that's the kindest way you can put it.  was watching the footy the other night  and you know, I was a little bit reluctant to actually say it, but I thought, why don't they bring back the beef? You know, and I thought,

27:18
That was in the eighties.  No,  there's a whole generation of  people out there that would never have seen the biff on the footy. yeah, I understand that's not a good thing, but they continue to show it in shorts when they...  But anyway,  yeah, but  sometimes we just open our mouth and our parents come out, don't they? Absolutely. More often than not. Yeah. The whole, I'm not made of money.  Because I said so, if the wind changes, your face will stay like, all those sort of things.

27:46
And even to the point where you sometimes need a nap after your nap in the afternoon. Oh yeah, definitely. Speaking of which,  what's the time?  It's probably time we both  skedaddled and we'll catch up next time. All right, talk to you soon. See you, bye. Bye.

28:05
The views and opinions expressed on the Big Six O are personal  and reflect those of the hosts and guests.  They do not represent the views or positions of any affiliated organisations  or companies.  This podcast is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice. Please consult with a qualified professional for guidance on any personal matters.

28:29
Ah,  and before we go,  let's give credit where credit is due.  Kaylee Harris and I came up with all the genius content for this week's episode.  Our producer,  Nick Abood,  well he keeps the lights on and makes sure we don't accidentally upload a cat video instead of a podcast. thanks for keeping us on track, Nick.  Nick?  Nick?